Where’s the getting your shit together function? I pushed star and redial and…no, i pushed 9, star…

Functioning as an upright little Stretch requires an element of the below or when all else fails neat vodka.

A slow slap to the mind is always useful in times of crisis and a wet guppy filled with painful reality should, every now and then, be applied to the forehead with a degree of force that would make the poor fish yelp with pain and outrage. This kind of behaviour is alas lacking in me at the moment, but the sweet sound of Curtis Mayfield always grounds me for some reason. This song is the equivalent to the the words “Don’t Panic” in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. As soothing as hot port and so smooth he could slide up a bannister. Thanks Curtis, the pain in my heart is only a dull throbbing one now and my head is doing fewer spins.

You are funk-ay and I am a Munk-ay!

Keep on keepin’ on.

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