Stevie Nicks looks like my golden retriever

Stretch back for a minute!

So, the other day, I was watching a documentary about Gandalf contemporaries, Fleetwood Mac, when my dog walked in. A pretentious east village golden retriever with delusions of how important he was to the musical progression of the 1970s and 80s. A pathological bore with an intensity that means putting him in a room with Debbie Harry could cause a cataclysmic reaction and quite possible the formation of a black hole. The entire planet would be sucked in to this vortex and come out the other side, flayed, inside out and smeared with bright pink lipstick. Woof, I hear him say. Shut up, I say.

unheimliche!!

The weird thing is that my other dog had an incident of diarrhoea recently and while cleaning the clinkers off his ass, I stopped looked, looked away, looked again, said nah, looked back again, lit a cigarette, contemplated, scratched my head, ate food, looked again and it dawned on me. His ass looked exactly like Mick Fleetwood. It did!

my dog's ass

Stretch Macgibbon has been experiencing mental, eh, technical dificulties

Here’s some Alice in Chains until my I pick my shit up and get it together. Bad things stopping the goodness!

I can’t believe it’s not Layne Staley! or can I? Yes i can, coz I saw him live. Well.

Christmas Shit no.ONE – Mark E. Smith – a christmas story

ahh…Santa..put it back Santa…I don’t want it

and another incarnation

Introducing Squishy Macgibbon

Happy Birthday letter to Stretch Macgibbon from Stretch Macgibbon

Dear Gibbon,

In the last year, I have been making less than huge efforts to educate, inform and the other one.

Dedication is what you need and damn it if I don’t have that. It would require an amazing amount of willpower and intelligence to make this mlog work well. Alas, I have neither. My brain is the size of a walnut and my ass is pink and durthy. I have gigantic fleas living on my back and my CD player may be broken. Grim animals stalk my every move. My immediate family have deserted me and the taxman is after me.

I live in a world where Shakira funny cow voice is lauded and Coldplay still jump around in their oh-so-crazy costumes. U2 spend more money per day on their claw then the GDP of Achill. Ronan Keating’s hair still thinks it’s 1994 and Bob Dylan won’t shut up. Metallica are older than Gandalf and Dave Mustaine has finally made the album he always wanted to make…again! The Black Eyed Peas have pulled many sheep over people’s eyes and Lady Gaga is a poor man’s Madonna, who in turn is a poor man’s new wife.

So, I have failed. Low viewing figures and people’s obsessions with Bell’s Palsy and Glenda Gilson have made me slightly sick in my mouth and I wonder is it time to quit this lark and go back to smearing poo all over Irlanda. A compulsion to continue is stalled when I hear people say the Picnic instead of Electric Picnic, when I hear Glen Hansard and Damien Dempsey are still alive, when I hear Mundy, when I hear Mundy.

When I think of rock journalists, I think of Nick Cave,

“And maybe you think that it’s all just water under the bridge, Well my UNfriend, I’m the type that holds a grudge.I’m your creator. I think you fuckin traitor, chronic masturbator, Shitlicker, user, self-abuser, jigger jigger”

Jigger-jigger, that’s how I feel.

Anyway, till next poo

Stretch Macgibbon, here as long as I fucking well please!

it’s WARP…where’s my Canada Dry? where’s my Daddy? Where’s my Shakira?

WARP RECORDS IS 20 YEARS OLD

things to be happy about…it’s hard to dislike anything that Warp produces, so I don’t. A constant source of supreme quality electronica and indie for two decades and a caustic window into the minds of some very creative musicians, designers and filmmakers.

Shane Meadow’s new film Le Donk and Scor-zay-zee

Warp20…the greatest record label in Sheffield…from Aphex Twin to Autechre to !!! to Squarepusher…to Plaid…to…Board of Canada…like theese

and Chris Cunningham (Do not watch if you are Ronan Keating..it’ll only make you worse)

the souvenir box set is out now on bleep

es so cool